Monday, January 5, 2009

Poem for the ages

When I was young Jesus was a very cool dude,

And I was him, crawling under the coffee table.


We have both grown up to be different men.

I think how tired he must get doing his thing.


I only want a little bit of Jesus in my life

There is only so much that I can fit in me.


I know I know, a little goes a long way

But if it’s one thing I learned - shit costs.


Maybe some day he will explain it himself.

“Ah, Matty you know it’s all just a bunch of whatever.”


No doubt it would be interesting, 

I bet he likes to cook.


Or maybe at the museum:

“I’m all over the place lately!”


Then taking it down a notch he would say

“Dude, seriously, we gotta hang more often.”


But there are tons of folks I haven’t seen for an age.

What makes you so special?


Aww he’d grin that million dollar grin,

The Pantydropper, the Mama’s Darlin’,


“Nothing, Brother, nothin’ at all.”

And wink and I’d know I was right


All along.

My Good Black Pen

I have lost my good black pen

And am left with nothing to say.


The chances of finding it

Are slim, but there is no reason


To lose hope.  Nor any

To grow sad too soon.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Acronyms for a New Age

III? Is it in?
IWICTY I wish I could tell you
NBFAWB Not bad for a white boy
IWIWD I wish I was dead
SOMBF   Some of my best friends
TFF  Too fucking funny
UMMS You make me sick
ANWWT Ain't nothing wrong with that
PITA Pain in the ass
AFOAMCL A face only a mother could love
DRM Don't remind me
SUAGTFOOMH Shut up and get the fuck out of my house
ISDUSS I'm sorry did you say something
STHSDT She thinks her shit don't stink
SIASD Stupid is a stupid does
PPTB Please pass the butter
DH2TM2 Don't have to tell me twice
BINUNT2M Bitch, I know you're not talking to me
MAIKM My ass is killing me
TMAI Tell me about it
WDUW4N What do you want for nothing?
WAI?CL What am I, chopped liver?
ATAGT? And thats a good thing?
GFU Go fuck yourself
WAYR What are you, retarded?
LIGAF Like I give a fuck?
DNUSO Don't knock yourself out
TTSWC Talk to someone who cares
TSNR That's so not right
AICB? And I care because?